A cheating spouse will always be a painful discovery and is something that cannot be tackled easily.  The question arises in your mind “How can I find out if my husband or wife is cheating on me or even a boyfriend or a girlfriend, for that matter?”

Do You Have Too Much Trust?

One main advantage that a cheating spouse has is the trust factor.  When you have built a trusting relationship with your spouse, it is often very difficult to detect infidelity since you trust your spouse and are secure and comfortable and would not even want to think about your spouse lying, let alone cheating on you.

Signs Of Cheating Spouse Are Always There

Be warned, however, that signs of infidelity are always there, right under your nose, and it is only a question of how well you keep your eyes, ears open to look out for those warning signals.  Another problem you will face is that once you are suspicious of something, you tend to bring it out in the open which may only help your cheating spouse to adjust his or her behaviour and carry on the cheating in a more effective manner, so as not to be caught.

So, basically, trust and suspicion that is confronted can work favourably for your spouse, so before asking any questions, collect definite proof of cheating before seeking answers.

Of course, constant surveillance and careful observation is necessitated for discovering your cheating spouse, which may be unethical perhaps, but there is really no alternative here.  There is no other effective method to track down your cheating spouse apart from looking for warning signs and collect some proof of infidelity.

Some tips about a cheating wife could be:

•    Finding birth control pills in her medicine cabinet when you have undergone a vasectomy
•    Your wife has a new email ID without your knowledge
•    She goes to shop for groceries and returns hours later
•    Sets up a new cell phone account which is billed to her account
•    Buys some new clothes
•    Does not confide or share anything with you any more
•    Removes the wedding ring

Some tips about a cheating husband could be:

•    You find condoms in his pockets when you are already on the pill
•    You find hairs on his car seat
•    Children’s items become a nuisance for him in the car
•    Evidence of a scratch or bruise on his neck or face
•    He works overtime which is not displayed in the pay stub
•    Perfume smell in his clothes
•    Not eating well at mealtimes because he already had his at his mistresses’ home
•    Signs of lipstick on his dress
•    Tries out new ways of lovemaking

Apart from the above, some general warning signals that apply to both a cheating wife or cheating husband would be…

A sudden reduction in the amount of money deposited in your bank account, uncomfortable friends who would not want to let him or her down, your spouse is touchy and is not comfortable in your presence, intimate clothing found that was not given or bought by you, hanging up of the phone when you pick it up, deleting the incoming calls from the ID, deleting emails too, deliberately picks out a fight with you to get out of the house, whispers on the phone and hangs up suddenly when you arrive in the room etc.

Reasons  For A Cheating Spouse

Cheating spouses have their own reasons for doing so, for instance an unhappy relationship that lacks passion, warmth or love and a lack of appreciation from the other, but it does not necessarily justify their behaviour.  Differences have to be logically reasoned and the partners should take the time out to sit down and discuss the issues confronting them rather than resorting to extra marital affairs, which can only cause a lot of pain and turmoil to the other partner.

Discussing things in a mature manner, being a patient listener and trying to understand the other’s point of view can all be very helpful in bringing the issue to the fore and taking suitable actions immediately rather than let things go as they are and resort to unethical means like cheating on your spouse.

Of course, there are many online sites that offer computer software and spy devices and there are also many ebooks and guides that offer help in detecting a cheating spouse, but the success of these varies from person to person and depending on your own commonsense judgments is always better.

So, go ahead and speak out with your spouse and sort out your differences and avoid cheating on your spouse at all costs, as this can ruin your marriage!