There are so many mistakes you do NOT want to make if your divorce is just beginning or if it is in process. I’ve listed the 69 biggest reasons I could come up with. (All pronouns are used interchangeably.) First, I do not want anyone to think I am condoning being unfair to your spouse. The things each of you had before your marriage should stay with that person. The other things, tangible items, should be split as equally as possible between each of you.

1. Giving up control of your divorce – this is NOT your lawyer’s divorce

2. Not keeping records of everything (i.e., when you pick up the kids, when you drop them off, when your ex calls, what she wants when she does call – and if it’s just to ‘see how you’re doing’ or to interrupt everything you and the kids are doing, put a stop to it immediately), etc.

3 Dividing up property without a thorough inventory – must have a complete list of what you own and what you owe ~ a 50 – 50 division of property is NOT the same thing as a fair division of property

4. Keeping the house even if you can’t afford it ~ let your ex have the headache or sell it

5. Not asking your ex to guarantee child support payments (if he is ordered to pay) with life insurance

6. Not seeking financial advice from someone other than your attorney or friends

7. Not setting up a specific parenting schedule ~ do not agree to liberal and frequent visitation (what works in the beginning will likely not work later on)

8. Not making sure there is a provision for your access to or sharing of medical and school records

9. Not adding a provision for discussion prior to your ex moving away with the kid(s)

10. Spending too much time and money letting lawyers gather information – see the mykidstoo? article ‘Find the Money’ 11. If it is close to 10 years, not waiting until that 10 year mark ~ it could be a difference in collecting against your ex’s Social Security benefits (of course, if your ex doesn’t have any Social Security benefits, this is a moot point ~ this also works in reverse with your ex collecting against your Social Security benefits)